Distance Learning & Parenting

Check Yourself and Go with the Flow 

During the COVID-19 pandemic, endless (and often unsolicited) parenting advice has been coming from every direction for how parents can help their kids with distance learning:

…and so much more. All these “tips” are often more confusing and contradictory than helpful. 

Transitioning to distance learning is just another hurdle that comes with raising kids these days. Although we’re all social distancing right now, not everyone has the combined responsibilities of both working remotely and also facilitating their childrens’ education.

Lately, I’ve felt a constant sense of worry. I think we’re all wondering if “we’re doing this right” or not. Everyone’s situation is different, but here are my top 3 pieces of advice:

• Go with the flow. 
• Trust yourself to know what your kids need as individuals right now. 
• Take a moment to appreciate how good you might have it compared to others.  

When talking about school, we often delve into topics around anxiety, isolation, and what’s in store for next year. I’d like to share some of the strategies and lessons I’ve learned to navigate the COVID-19 pandemic with  you all below.

Customize Distance Learning for Kids to Learn Best

As a former public school teacher, I’ve continued to be heavily involved in my kids schools. I serve both in parent leadership positions and as a general volunteer. Distance learning is driving home a point I’ve always believed: cookie cutter beliefs and instructional methods simply aren’t the best way to approach child development or learning. Kids learn and grow socially in dramatically different ways.

These realizations are some of the most significant lessons I’ve learned during the pandemic.  I’ve found similar themes emerge during ongoing discussions over dinner.  

For all my experience in education and with kids, nothing could have prepared me for how different my kids are now that they’re dealing with COVID-19. 

My eldest, C., would love nothing more than to be back at school with friends. My youngest, A. misses one-on-one instruction from teachers for challenging subjects.

As an 8th grader, A. is elated about “no more school.” C., who’s a sophomore in high school, prefers being able to control the pace of classwork by taking breaks to exercise and work on new ice hockey skills

The Privilege of Access to Resources While Schools Use Distance Learning

Recognizing my children are unique reminds me of my privilege in being able to accommodate their different learning styles. They are also independent teenagers that don’t need as much attention as those with younger children or those with special needs or learning disabilities. One struggles with anxiety and lack of structure, and I feel fortunate to be able to provide support in the ways that are needed. 

Here are just a few of the resources both my children have access to, that not all students do right now:

• Internet access and the devices they need complete their work
• A roof over their head
• Access to healthy food 
• Safe surroundings to go out and walk the dog multiple times a day (with masks on, of course).

When my kids get stressed or complain about something mundane, we are quick to remind them that other people are not so fortunate. This is a key narrative that’s come to light during the pandemic. I hope having this perspective will challenge my children to think about how they can make a positive impact in their communities. 

In the future, I hope they will look for ways to benefit more vulnerable people or those in need.

Both of my kids have always been very empathetic. They’re drawn to helping and watching out for others. Nonetheless, we all need reminding at times to put us in check. Here are some questions I often raise to help them gain perspective:

• You’re bored? Go write a note thanking the grocery store workers or the trashmen. 
• You want to buy what with your money? How much good would that help a charity right now? 
• Is that a need or want? 
• When’s the last time you called your grandparents?
• Why don’t you check in with  friends you haven’t spoken to for a while?

Make Mental Health a Priority During the COVID-19 Quarantine

These days, it’s more critical than ever to stay aware of our kids’ mental health, as well as our own.  It’s ok to say you aren’t ok. 

It’s ok to say your kid is not ok. 

It’s also necessary to check your privilege. Remember that so many others are facing far more dire straits. Understanding that anyone can feel depression and anxiety and should seek help when needed is one thing. Having access to resources like therapy is quite another. 

Now, more than ever, we need to reach out and support those with the least access to resources. Let’s work together to find ways to bridge them to basic needs so many of us take for granted.