COVID-19 Quarantine Parenting Tips

2 Adults, 2 Teens, & a Zoo in Quarantine

My name is Nicole, and I’m a typical 40-something suburban mom. My claim to fame is that I live in a small zoo along with 4 rats, 2 dogs, 2 lizards, 1 cat, and 1 snake, not to mention, two teenage daughters and one very patient husband.The three of us are used to being around each other day in and day out, but the COVID-19 quarantine has taken this to a whole new level. 

 I’m lucky enough to work at the same school my daughters attend. (We can ask them later how they feel about that! 🤣) My eldest daughter, Leah, is a sophomore in high school, where she’s a Sources of Strength Peer Leader. As our resident introvert, she’s happy to be home with her pets and Netflix. Our 8th grader Hannah? Not so much! 

Adopting Your Schedule to Fit Stay-at-Home Regulations

During a typical week, the girls have a jam-packed schedule. Their days include any number of the following activities:

• Swim practice
• Dance lessons
• Voice lessons
• Rehearsals
• Teen hangouts

My husband, Alan, recently returned from a two-year military deployment. Honestly, us gals were just getting used to having a guy around again when the stay-at-home order started.

Adjusting to the COVID-19 Pandemic’s “New Normal”

We’re living in a scary time right now. No one really knows what will happen next. Alan’s building was shut down after co-workers were diagnosed with COVID-19. I have Lupus, which puts me in the high-risk category if I were to get sick. Both my girls struggle with anxiety. Our worlds and routines were turned upside down within days. We all are experiencing a very real sense of fear. 

I think a lot of us have had the same question hanging over our heads lately:

I don’t. 

I’ve put “normal” on pause, and decided to focus on staying safe and sound.

During the beginning of the quarantine, there were no hard-and-fast rules in our house. School was out, I wasn’t working, and my husband had to figure out how to work. All our animals were just confused by all the humans always being around. I’ve never seen our cat so ticked off – he is most definitely not happy about this change!

Social Distancing Comes with Ups and Downs

Our family treated the first two weeks of quarantine like an early spring break. It wasn’t all fun and games, though. We also took time to mourn our losses as we said goodbye to:

• The 8th grade formal
•  Orchestra concerts
• Field trips
•  Art shows

…and so much more!

Many tears were shed, as each of us hit our breaking point at different times. For me, this was the day our school’s entire staff was given just 10 minutes to enter the building to clear out what we needed to work from home. 

So much of my family’s life takes place at that school. It is truly a source of strength for all of us. Just standing in my office, surrounded by empty locker bays and dark classrooms temporarily broke me. I’ll admit, I sat on the floor and cried. 

When I was done, I took the long way out of the building. Passing by all my favorite parts of the school helped remind me this wasn’t the end of the show, just intermission. 

When I returned home, the four members of our family came up with a plan together for how to start moving forward. Spring Break at the zoo was over.

 Quarantine Zoo Rules:

1) During Quarantine, Get Dressed 4/7 Days of the Week:

 I initially said the girls had to change out of PJ’s Monday through Friday, but Leah pointed out if there was a school holiday or teacher workday, this wouldn’t be required. Point taken, kid! We revised this rule to “get out of pajamas Mon/Tues/Thurs/Friday.” On Wednesday and the weekends? Wear whatever you want.  

After a few weeks of quarantine, days of the week are blurring together. Now, we aim to spend the majority of our days in clean clothes that we wouldn’t mind being seen wearing in public, given the chance.

2) While COVID-19 Lasts, Be Productive From 10AM–2PM:

If you have work, online class, or schoolwork, great! That should be your focus for the day. If not, you must find something non-electronic to do. For each of our family members, this looks very different:

• I usually read or cook 
• My husband Alan listens to history books
• Hannah practices violin, runs lines, or sings
• Leah has been focused on art, puzzles and teaching her rats new tricks lately 

Tap into your creativity while brainstorming new activities for social distancing.

3) Chores Are Not Optional, Despite COVID-19: 

Outside life may be on hold, but the dirt, dust, and dog hair are not. Weekly chores must still happen. There’s no excuse not to change your sheets! 

All this extra free time actually inspired both girls to deep-clean their rooms. In turn, this chore led to us sitting on the floor, going through bags full of old clothes, drawings, swim ribbons, and toys. 

Deep-cleaning my daughters’ rooms gave us the unique opportunity to take a family trip down memory lane. We had a chance to say goodbye to parts of their childhood we’d never have had if the world was still “open” If life had remained normal, those bags would have gone right into the trash without a proper send-off. Who knew chores and COVID-19 could have a silver lining? 

4)Throughout Quarantine, Stay Physically Active Regularly

Just like with getting dressed, we are aiming to get active 4 out of the 7 days of the week. We all take walks, but not necessarily together. Most days, we each take a walk on our own. Sometimes we bring a dog, but it can also just be an opportunity for some alone time. 

Don’t get me wrong, we all love each other, but I think having some time alone outside has been good for all of us. Our dogs are loving the multiple long walks. On the flip side, our cat is less ticked off, since longer walks mean fewer people are in “his” house.

4) Try to Learn Something New During the Pandemic:

 Why waste this extra time when you can gain something positive out of this situation? Here are a few ideas we’ve tried:

• Learn a new party trick you can break out at a post-quarantine get-together 
• Hannah has been teaching herself to play the ukulele (thank you, YouTube!). 
• Leah took on a new art project, and she ended up creating my favorite artwork to date. 
• As a family, we tried our hand at maintaining a sourdough starter and baking our own sourdough bread. It’s so delicious that I’m not sure we’ll ever buy bread again!

5) If You Need to Tap Out, Go For It:  

For us, this means that if you need to take a day off from the rest of the family, take it. Here are just a few ways to maintain healthy boundaries and take time for yourself:

1. Take a mental health day
2. Spend the day on FaceTime with a friend
3. Hide in our basement and watch old reruns of Parks and Rec. 
4. Want to skip family dinner? Go for it. 

Everyone’s mental health looks different. Even though we’re no longer running in 20 different directions, life remains stressful. We all have bouts of sleepless nights. When the stress hits, take a breather as needed. Just know, the next day, we are going to rally around you. More than likely, we’ll come with baked goods in hand!

6) Spend Time with Friends Online During the Quarantine

Thanks to technology, it’s possible to see friends while abiding by social distancing guidelines and regulations. Supportive friendships can have a positive influence on our mental health. 

Leah and her friends came up with a great plan to stay in touch: hosting “dinner dates” to get together online regularly. Usually, this process starts while they all chat while doing their hair and make-up. Some girls get fancy, but others don’t – and to each their own! No matter how they decide to dress, they always sit down and eat dinner together via FaceTime. 

After dinner, the girls go their separate ways for a bit. Once they rejoin wearing comfy PJs, they hunker down for a Netflix watch party. The very first night, I realized how great of an idea it was for not only the girls, but also their moms! 

I love hearing the voices and laughter of my girls and their friends. All that’s missing in these moments is the typical pile of shoes in my foyer. Observing how much joy they bring each other makes me feel so grateful for the young women in my daughter’s lives.  

Quarantine Normalcy Requires Rules that Work For You

That’s it. Why are our rules so simple? Because they are achievable to us. We needed to set ourselves – and each other – up for success. 

Each time Leah finishes a puzzle, it’s a win for us all.

Every time Hannah learns a new song, we all celebrate. 

Each time our bread actually rises, and we get to slather a thick layer of butter fresh from the oven, we all smile together. 

As Will Smith once said,

This time may be uncertain, but I truly believe the best things in our lives await us on the other side.